Why Attachment Healing Is the Key to Lasting Love
We all carry early relational blueprints. Patterns we absorbed in childhood that shape how we connect, trust, and love. For many of the individuals and couples I work with in my Oakland office, these unconscious patterns are the root of relational struggle.
What Is Attachment Healing? Attachment healing is the process of becoming aware of your relational imprints and gently shifting the ones that no longer serve you. It’s not about blame or pathology. It’s about reclaiming choice and creating safety in connection as adults.
How It Shows Up in Relationships:
Anxiety when your partner pulls away
Shutting down or withdrawing in conflict
People-pleasing or over-functioning in order to maintain closeness
Fear of being "too much" or not enough
The Good News? These patterns aren’t fixed. Through somatic therapy and emotionally attuned work, I support clients in Berkeley and Oakland to rewire their nervous systems, build self-trust, and open to secure love.
When we heal attachment wounds, we stop chasing or avoiding love—and start receiving it.
Without the conscious work to rewire our nervous system and heal our attachment wounds, we end up relating to our partners from our child selves. We're not truly present in the now, we're reenacting old emotional experiences, seeking repair from our past through our present connection.
What often results is more pain, more misattunement, and a deeper sense of disconnection.
But adult partnership offers us the greatest opportunity for healing if we're willing to do the work. When we show up with awareness, regulation, and emotional responsibility, our relationships shift from a battleground of unmet needs to a sanctuary of mutual growth and intimacy.
